Emily

What’s the matter, Emily

Are you afraid of the dark

Isn’t this familiar, Emily?

I think I’ve been where you are

It’s a long and lonely road

And there’s nowhere to run

You’re surrounded by the consequences

Of the one you have become

What’s the matter, Emily

Why the hell are you calling me

You’re the one who left me

Hangin’ on, all alone

When I needed somebody

You wouldn’t pick up the phone

You’re the one who stood idle

As I was forced to walk away

Never once did I hear, “I’m sorry,”

Or ever was I asked to stay

Now the shoe is on the other foot

And you’re crying out for help

The demons dance and laugh and sing

As they’re putting you through hell

What’s the matter Emily

Are you beginning to see

The roles are now reversed

And you’re calling out to me

What’s the matter, Emily

Are you surprised at what you see?

You’re the one who left me

Hangin’ on, all alone

When I needed somebody

You wouldn’t pick up the phone

You’re the one who stood idle

As I was forced to walk away

Never once did I hear, “I’m sorry,”

Or ever was I asked to stay

I don’t feel like being the bigger man

As far as our friendship goes…

Let this fucker burn…

You’re the one who left me

Hangin’ on, all alone

When I needed somebody

You wouldn’t pick up the phone

You’re the one who stood idle

As I was forced to walk away

Never once did I hear, “I’m sorry,”

Or ever was I asked to stay

What’s the matter, Emily?

Are you afraid of the dark?

Hands Clean

Where are you and what have you done?

You left behind powder marks from a smoking gun

I guess you thought by drowning in your pity pool

Maybe somehow, I would feel sorry for you

Wasn’t I the one who wished you well

Giving you the space to be yourself

Wasn’t I the one who took you in

Cuz you were in a place that I had been

You bailed like a bitch for the world to see

At least I did my part – my hands are clean

I tried compassion and I tried to be kind

But none of that shit could make you mine

You can’t take a whore and make a bride

Some people never change on the inside

Wasn’t I the one to extend my hand

Giving you a friend who would understand

Wasn’t I the one to open up my home

So you didn’t end up on the streets and alone

You had this urge to be single and free

You got what you wanted – my hands are clean

I did my duty and I played my part

I hope you’re grateful wherever you are

Karma always finds a sweet place to land

Whatever happens now is out of my hands

Wasn’t I the one who wished you well

Giving you the space to be yourself

Wasn’t I the one who took you in

Cuz you were in a place that I had been

You bailed like a bitch for the world to see

At least I did my part – my hands are clean

There From Here

When I step back in time

It seems so distant now

But I dust off those memories

And it's like you're still around

Your face is ever present

Your voice is crystal clear

And I wish I knew the way 

There from here

Cuz I never saw the story end

Or even had the common sense

To appreciate the life we knew

When I held it in my hands

Now the future is uncertain

Filled with questions and fears

And all the wishing in the world can't take me

There from here

So I tried to keep going

And I stumbled down the road

Looking back, and never knowing

Which way I should go

Your touch was on my skin

And your love still lingered here

I'd give anything for the way

There from here

Cuz I never saw the story end

Or even had the common sense

To appreciate the life we knew

When I held it in my hands

Now the future is uncertain

Filled with questions and fears

And there's no way I can travel

There from here

We cannot determine

What the future has in store

What we take for granted now

We spend tomorrow looking for

Cuz I never saw the story end

Or even had the common sense

To appreciate the life we knew

When I held it in my hands

Now the future is uncertain

Filled with questions and fears

And there's no way I can travel

There from here

This song is dedicated to Daniel Zarr. I love you and miss you so much. You were the centerpiece of my life, and losing you threw my world into chaos. It also taught me to appreciate every day for what it is, and to love every person like I will never see them again. Thanks for the memories, and know that you will always be with me.

the age of mircacles

the age of miracles

there's a brand new me

i've recently discovered

and i've come to the conclusion

there's more yet to uncover

i'm facing my mistakes

and addressing my shortfalls

i'm learning i'm not perfect

maybe i'm human after all

this is the age of learning

i feel like a page is turning

i'm letting go of what's been done

turning my gaze toward the sun

walking away from bridges burning

this is the age of learning

don't mistake my words

i'm not a melancholy child

but now my past and i

are once again reconciled

now i laugh more with my friends

and the shadows have no pull

where once i felt so empty

that void is long since full

this is the age of celebration

where i live without hesitation

i forget what has gone wrong

time to sing a different song

and head for a new destination

this is the age of celebration

there is a sweet amazing grace

when you make the choice to live

you realize all we have is now

and the present is the greatest gift

i have found the age of miracles

and the happiness of letting go

no longer burdened by the pain

of drowning myself in the rain

i've crossed that bridge and paid that toll

now i'm at the age,

the age of miracles

this song is really about a simple concept that can take years to master: letting go. there are many layers of our life and our history, and i'm finding that the older i get, the more i'm peeling them back and letting go of the clouds that used to hover. when you learn the concept of letting things go, you truly discover, as i like to call it, "the age of miracles."